When you are in the middle of immense suffering, please do not force yourself to make it positive, meaningful, transcendent. 

Perhaps you have just lost what you have always lived for. 

Perhaps even the fear of losing it paralyses you. 

You have lost touch with the meaning of your existence, the reason to be alive. 

Your heart is shattered, 

Your eyes are swollen, 

Your legs are heavy. 

Nothing makes sense. 

And no one seems to get it.

They try, but they don’t seem to get it. 

You look around, everything seems… normal. 

Everyone are going about their lives, laughing, talking, working. 

The world is running as it is, sunrise, sunset; summer, winter. 

But nothing is the same for you. 

Everything is dull and blurry. 

The colour of the street looks different. 

The freshly baked cookies smell different. 

The bird songs sound different. 

Nothing feels the same. 

Nothing brings you joy, makes your heart flutters, inspires you to move.

Nothing takes your mind away from that which you had loved, and still love. 

When you are in the deepest darkness, please do not force yourself to get over anything, let go of anything, work through anything.

Let the deepest sorrow wash through you. 

For now, it will be dark. 

But life is a river and it is never still. 

The darkness will pass. 

Since it’s dark in your ditch, you don’t see anything. 

But there are others in here.

When the sun break through the clouds and light gets in through the cracks, you will see others in here. 

They know what it's like.

Often, it is helpful to let someone witness your pain. 

When you cannot afford hope, let someone hold it for you.

When you have dropped your light, let someone shine theirs in your cave. 

If you don’t have a trusted friend, find a trusted professional. 

If you can’t find a trusted professional, write your sorrow, sing your sadness, scream your anger, dance your grief. 

You may even cry to a tree. 

No matter what you do, never blame yourself for your suffering. Never condemn yourself for your tears. 

Many people say things happen ‘for a reason’. That may be so, but please don’t force yourself to find that reason or lesson. 

You are allowed to be soft, be sad, be shaky, for however long the soft tissues in your body say they need. 

About grief: It’s not up to you, and you can’t mess it up. 

So, releasing control is the only thing you can do. 

You have the most profound and beautiful reason to be alive,

and it will come to you if you let it. 

Be still. Don’t run, don’t flounder.

Let life’s answers find you. 

It will, if you stay still. 

All you have to do, is to keep breathing until then.